sickly

so sickly.


thought i'll feel healthy again in no time. who knows it dragged for so damn long. :(
what if its dengue. *******TOUCH WOOD*******

i'll go to my family doc tmr. i want to be healthy AGAIN before baby book out. hopefully its nth. fever up and down. and recently no fever. but headache!! super duper painful can. i suspect its migraine. FML.

its making me damn mooodless. argh. i really really want to recover fast. sigh..

chatted with bf just now. he always make everything seems right effortlessly. <3

5 more days. and i'll be one of the happiest girl on earth.
for the time being.
before he books in again. haha

but now the most impt thing is for me to see the doc and recover fast fast.
so that we can enjoy his book out days.
and our one and a half yr anni. <3

misses

i'm missing my bf likeeeeeeeeeee what. :(
just now chatted with him. can feel that he's really tired and things are tough in there. sigh. i just want to see him quickly. :'(

somehow the chat today isnt as happy as the past few days. silence filled up most of the gaps. i dont know what the heck is going thru my mind. after we hanged up. i miss him like mad. :'(

what to do? i can only wait. 23rd. one more week. half way thru alrdy. somehow. i dont feel like going out? but at the same time staying at home doesnt help either. this sucks. :( but i'm glad that at least sweet is back from japan tmr. i cant wait for this week to be over quickly. then im just left with 4 days before i get to see him again.

i need to pass ch some stuff. but cant seem to find the time. sigh.

ok. i really miss him a lot. but i got to be strong. and get used to it.
at least a good news to be happy abt: my fever is completely gone.

i want to be in his arms again. so much. sigh...

friends

i'll whine here ok. no more fb. actually want also can. since i set it to private alrdy. so they wont find it irritating. i didnt know being expressive can be irritating. but nw i knw. haha.

i think i've been thru a lot.. i know i know. 20 yrs old haven really seen teh real world yet. blah blah. but somehow i feeel that im bearing more than what a 20 yr old is "supposed" to bear? i dont know.
firstly, i feel so weak. like fever up and down. friends. bf. RAHH. whatever la. so many prob. maybe im the one with prob. i really dont knw. and maybe i shldnt care. rantings can be irritating i knw. but not to that extent??? im like this. either u like me or u dont. thats it. if u cant accept me for who am i, then im sorry.

but i feel so silly. why am i changing for the sake of others? seriously. i dont knw. i guess im just afraid to lose my friends. so im always giving in. ARGH. i dont know. sick and tired. and yes. i do miss my bf. cos he always make things seem right. although i do complain abt him. but he's still awesome.

sigh. i'll slp my troubles away.
i suck
im whiny
whatever la.
this is just me.
i just want to be that happy girl in jc again.

:(

bf was enlisted on 9th of dec.
14 days without him. we can only call/sms. :(

the longest time we were a part was when he went taiwan with his friends for 5 days. i was so sad alrdy. not its close to 3 times the number of days!

on the first day of his enlistment, my fever shot up to 40.1 degree. i thought im going to become dumb or what. and without bf by my side, i felt worse. :(
flashbacks of him taking care of me when i fell sick in the past started flooding my mind. sigh.
h
what pp said is true. this is the period which made us realised how impt each other is in our lives and we will end up cherishing each other more. i used to blame him for spending too much time infront of his macbook gaming. now, i rather he game than being apart from me for so long. :(

today's only day three of his enlistment. he's only booking out on the 23rd. TSK~~~ there's like.. 12 more days! gosh. i dont like NS. but no choice. :(
wonder how am i going to spend these 12 days.
results out on the 21st. but i think it'll suck. doesnt matter though. cos the thought of bf booking out real soon will brighten up everything. ^^

saw a note bf secretly typed in my phone. surprised and touched at the same time. i teared while reading that. im blessed to have a bf like him. despite my temper and nonsense at times, he still love me so much. :(

im glad he's able to book out on the 23rd. at least we can spend xmas tgt and at the same time it happens to be out 1 and a half yr anni. <3

trying to stay stong and tide over the remaining 12 days. (:
the sad thing is, few of my closest friends are still having their exams and it will only end on the 23rd. -.- lols. so i got to be miss independent for the time being.


miss u so much.
<3