Yr 3 Sem 2
Wow. been soooooooooooooooooooo damn long since i last blogged. alright. not that people would read it anyway. But. it's been really long since i last penned down my thoughts. haha.
Alright. 2May 2012. marks the end of my 3 years of education in NUS. shld i contd on with honors? i really have no idea. i'm afraid that i would regret. either taking it or not. lol. regret if i were to take it; the crazy stress level. Maybe it would be the first time, hitting the headlines of the news- girl, aged 22, died of excessive stress level. hahaha. might be a turning point u knw. maybe they would reassess the edu sys. but i doubt so la huh. NS also still the same.
sometimes i really feel that the systems are pushing us too much. we're only human. why cant they allow us to live our lives happily and comfortably. yes, we shld be working for a living blah blah blah. but the kind of values and cultures that are instilled. really bad. sometimes i dont even knw why am i working so hard and stressing myself out for nothing. meritocracy, equal opportunities. bullshit.
now. i get the chance to get out of the edu sys. for awhile. then i'll be stepping into another system again. i really dont knw what i wanna do in life. mayb i shld contd honors? but i really dread the edu sys. sighh. somebody tell me what to do? :(
bf and i havent been on good terms lately. dont knw why. i just feel that. he doesnt bother much abt me anymore. haha. made me realised, actually i can be very independent as well. been tgt for close to three yrs. rather reliant on his presence. lately, i guess things havent been going on well. i knw im pretty possessive. i think that's the main prob. he hasnt been caring much lately either. wasnt feeling well. down with slight fever, under lots of pressure and stress, together with an exam paper the next day. He went out with his friends and enjoyed himself thoroughly. not a single msg from him to ask me if im ok blah blah.. am i asking for too much? maybe im demanding too. or mayb. im nt a good gf after all. i've too many flaws. i reckon that i asked for too much. i feel so lost. so ugly. so dumb. so. messed up.
my life is in a mess.
and im all alone.
again.
:'(
Alright. 2May 2012. marks the end of my 3 years of education in NUS. shld i contd on with honors? i really have no idea. i'm afraid that i would regret. either taking it or not. lol. regret if i were to take it; the crazy stress level. Maybe it would be the first time, hitting the headlines of the news- girl, aged 22, died of excessive stress level. hahaha. might be a turning point u knw. maybe they would reassess the edu sys. but i doubt so la huh. NS also still the same.
sometimes i really feel that the systems are pushing us too much. we're only human. why cant they allow us to live our lives happily and comfortably. yes, we shld be working for a living blah blah blah. but the kind of values and cultures that are instilled. really bad. sometimes i dont even knw why am i working so hard and stressing myself out for nothing. meritocracy, equal opportunities. bullshit.
now. i get the chance to get out of the edu sys. for awhile. then i'll be stepping into another system again. i really dont knw what i wanna do in life. mayb i shld contd honors? but i really dread the edu sys. sighh. somebody tell me what to do? :(
bf and i havent been on good terms lately. dont knw why. i just feel that. he doesnt bother much abt me anymore. haha. made me realised, actually i can be very independent as well. been tgt for close to three yrs. rather reliant on his presence. lately, i guess things havent been going on well. i knw im pretty possessive. i think that's the main prob. he hasnt been caring much lately either. wasnt feeling well. down with slight fever, under lots of pressure and stress, together with an exam paper the next day. He went out with his friends and enjoyed himself thoroughly. not a single msg from him to ask me if im ok blah blah.. am i asking for too much? maybe im demanding too. or mayb. im nt a good gf after all. i've too many flaws. i reckon that i asked for too much. i feel so lost. so ugly. so dumb. so. messed up.
my life is in a mess.
and im all alone.
again.
:'(
posted by Viv ♥ at
10:41:00 PM
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