the time now is 1.45am

the time now is 1.45am.. i couldnt really fall asleep so i'm here blogging. haha. sucha good girl. didnt really wake bf up. (:

just now was one of the first time i ever operate the washing machine at home and hang bf's army clothes. haha. to be honest. i rarely do household chores. in fact, i only do them like during spring cleaning? haha. other than that it's just simple cleaning here and there that takes less than 10min. lol. im lazy la. hahaha.

this may sound weird, but just now i was standing infront of the washing machine trying to figure out how it works. and i find it pretty amazing. lol.

anyway, i rreally cant fall asleep. haha. so rant here a lil ok. hol's ending and it really suck. it's just like my last paper of the exam was just ytd! Roar! what have i been doing during these few weeks of my hol? hmm.. i rmb myself being sick for like 10 days. then slack at hm. go out with friends. nth exciting happened. haha. didnt travel overseas too. dont have the "fu(2) qi(4)" ah. family going Macau in feb but i cant go cos' of sch. then i'll be all alone at hm.. disgusting.

i was reallly happy to see bf again after 4 days. he's like even tanner now. seriously. haha. then he went on abt his army stuff and all. and i really listened attentively. and super happy when i know that he's improving and even being made the platoon IC. i can tell that he's adapting fast to that "new life" though it suck. and to a certain extent, he's actually loving it. haha.

but.. i kinda feel neglected. of cos i appreciate it a lot when he came over the moment he book out. then watched my fave show with me. but. i feel neglected in a sense that he doesnt really bother much abt what i've been doing when he isnt ard? haha. he didnt ask much. and when i did tell him abt all the interesting and funny things that happened when he's in camp, he doesnt really seem that interested. when i showed him the pics me and my friends took, he didnt give much reaction either. i have the "fu(1) yan(2)" feel. haha. and i dont know if he realised i started wearing contacts? he didnt even mention anything abt it. haha. guess it adds on to my ugliness. so he doesnt wanna hurt my feelings. shit. i shld just stop changing myself. argh..

maybe i think too much. and im very sure that's what he will say as well. cos i tend to assume a lot of things. but thats really how i felt. i know he's tired also la. i pardon him. i really really dont mind. thats why i didnt wake him up and start throwing tantrums (before he enlists, i'll just wake him up and start complaining why he falls a aslp so fast, nvr acc me. ops..). haha.

actually i did wake him up for a moment just now; i told him i couldnt fall asleep. then he said when i slept alone, i could fall asleep. that kinda set me thinking for a sec. lol. true ah. i guess army life changes our r/s to a certain extent. in what way, i cant seem to find words to describe it. good or bad, i guess it's both. haha. i'm very afraid things will start becoming very "whatever" cos im starting to get used to being 'alone', or rather, more 'independent'. of cos, i definitely still love my bf. but somehow i just feel that our rs is heading towards that direction. cos we all seem to have different 'focuses' in life now-- he wants to do well in army while i want to work really hard in the coming sem.

was really excited abt going to USS this coming saturday on the 8th of jan. finally maanaged to book the tix. somehow that excitement feeling is diluted now. haha. nvm. hopefully it'll be a great way to end my hol.

it's 2.03am now, i guess its night time la. thats why i think more. lol. when darkness sets in, ur mind starts to wonder and reflect upon a lot of things. haha. u get what i mean.

i'll hit the sack now. hopefully i'll fall asleep in no time. :D