friends?

hmm..

went to career fair today to check out the jobs that i can venture into after i graduate. still thinking if i shld do my honors not. anyway, one more yr before i really need to start thinking. work and improve on my grades first.

anyway, the main reason why i posted this entry is because i'm quite confused with the definition of friends after i enter uni. haha. i dont know who are considered as my real/close friend. hi-bye types are acquaintances? talk slightly a lil bit more = friends? talk a lot a lot a lot = good friend? hahhaa. i really dont know. it's a social construct afterall isnt it. haha.

people change in different phases of life. i have to admit that i do too. but sometimes, i really find certain changes so drastic that I actually fear and abhor them. I dont know how to treat people anymore. it seems like, whatever i do isnt sufficient. whatever i do seems wrong. whatever i do people dont appreciate. maybe i shld just stay in my own world and apply my 'whatever' mentality. maybe that will make me happier. haha.

i really wonder who are my real friends now. who are the ones who will really care and not dump me aside once they found someone else. they dont even drop me an sms to ask me how's life. how's my day. blah blah. to me, even a simple good morning msg makes a huge difference. especially when we used to be so damn bloody close. and all of a sudden, things change.

it really really irks me u know. i see how u happily join other friends, write on their walls, talk to them and all but totally ignore me? i'm very sure this feeling isnt jealousy. but anger. apparently our friendship is like nothing now. u met up with the rest but didnt inform me anything abt it. i put in all the effort and stuff. but u think im just being random. then too bad. u dont f-ing deserve anything from me anymore.

ohkay, sorry for being a lil vulgar. (:
byes.