it's not okay this time round

aint promises supposed to be giving us assurance?
it's not the first time this is happening. i should have learned from it.

i thought u would be different. someone who will keep his words. someone who wont hurt me cos' of broken promises. someone who wont go back on his words. someone who will do exactly what he says.
apparently your actions don't seem to show that.
it's not the first time alrdy.
that's what hurts the most.

looking back at the sms-es about what u said, about how you really wanted to be here for me, how much u wanted to acc me even if it's gona be a boring process.

it really pains my heart. i guess you wont know how disappointed am i. how heartbreaking it is. especially when this isnt the first time anymore.

cos' you weren't ard when i needed u the most. it made me realised that 'since u weren't ard when i needed u the most, nth else can beat that'
it doesnt matter whether u are ard or not.
doesnt matter if u really meant what u said or not.

i know u are alrdy trying your best in everything u do.
i know there are circumstances in which u dont have a choice but to do that. especially since u entered NS. i cant be selfish. im really trying to change my perception to everything. but

i'm startin to loose faith.
starting to feel numb to everything
starting to really feel 'whatever'
starting to not care

I guess i dont have much of a choice either. but to let things be and let things go your way.

u dont agree with me that things changed once u entered NS.
i guess, its time to really sit down and think back; if i'm really the one for u. or has everything becomes a habit, so it makes u think that u still love me as much.

i know im nt pretty enough. not sweet enuf. not nice enough.
even if one day you've decided to leave me, i wont hold any grudges against u. cos i know my flaws and will be really happy and glad that u endured me fr the past 2 yrs.

im sorry if i'm not a good enuf gf.

it's ok if im not ur priority anymore. all i need is ur assurance. and u dont go back on ur words once you've said them. it may mean nth to u. but u dont know how much that hurts whn ur actions don't prove it.
please dont blame me for thinking too much, dont blame me for tearing. dont blame me for being unhappy.